Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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