Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize