I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
