apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
