I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
