worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
