We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
