WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
