So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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