I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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