the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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