its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
