I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
