dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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