Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
