He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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