I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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