sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
