Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry roasted hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

Fav 31 5726 937
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

Fav 22 4683 1285
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn

Fav 14 1333 5344
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Vomiting outside the employee entrance

Fav 15 7819 2211
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

Fav 3 1096 1987
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

Fav 2 2407 1132
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..

Fav 2 814 1188
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!

Fav 0 367 201
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash

Fav 0 12 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT