i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
