Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
