Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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