remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
