So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
