Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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