I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
