It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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