I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
