Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
