i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Shame - the story of my life.
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