I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
