Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
