considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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