lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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