Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
