I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize