i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
