are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
