he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
