thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
