my mouth tastes like poor choices
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
