He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
