butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just threw up on my dentist
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We are two peas in an std pod
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
