I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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