The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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