does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
