he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize