It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
