my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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