So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
