no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
