its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
