you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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