You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I look better un-naked...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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