I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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