and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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