Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
