mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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