She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
