Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
