I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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