OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
