He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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